There’s an old adage that says “when you don’t have the fact, pound the table”.  Once again the Schlaflys have turned the furniture to kindling.  Given a couple hundred more words, their June 13th column would have produced splinters.

Writing about the January 6th insurrection and the Congressional hearings scrutinizing the before, during and after of that stain on the history of our great Country, the Schlaflys have once again disgraced truth and democracy via their unhinged histrionics.

The story of Trump’s failed coup attempt and the ignorant hoard who participated in reliance on Trump’s lies is being told in these hearings.  Even Ivanka Trump testified that she believed Attorney General William Barr that Trump’s claims of a stolen election were “nonsense”.  But the Schlaflys don’t mention these two witnesses

Instead they make the wholly unsupported claim that “video evidence shows uncharged individuals who infiltrated a peaceful crowd and incited confrontations that day, yet government witnesses refuse to explain the active role of government agents and informants”.

Wow!  That’s scary.  Not true, but scary.  So, let’s unpack their twisted fabrication together.

What video evidence? I missed the infiltrators while watching all available video coverage of January 6th and now the video evidence of a cinematographer embedded with the Proud Boys, showing their vanguard casing the Capitol entrances, then leading the charge to violently break into the Capitol.  Where are these phantom videos?  Fox News hasn’t found them but the Schlaflys secured a secret film?  I don’t think so.

The Proud Boys were also filmed crashing into the barrier at the Peace Circle and inflicting brain injuries on Capitol Police Officer Edwards who bravely tried to hold the line. That was just one of the videoed beatings, bear spraying, pole smashing, and punch throwing inflicted on Capitol Police that day, leaving over 100 injured and five dead. This is the Schlaflys “peaceful crowd”. Remember “hang Mike Pence”? This was a violent lynch mob.

Then the Schlaflys conjure up the boogie men in dark hats, blaming “government agents and informants” as somehow involved. Name one.  They even mention the Deep State.  Again, John and Andy, name one member.  You can’t and you never could.  Maybe if you use your Orphan Annie decoder rings?

Meanwhile, gentlemen, kindly give us the address of the “DC Gulag” to which you keep referring.  Having lived in D.C. for around 40 years, I missed that stop on the tour.  You mean a jail where some of the over 700 people convicted for heinous crimes and injuries committed on January 6th are properly housed, including the numerous members of the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys who have pled guilty to insurrection?  I’ll save my sympathies for the families of the dead and injured Capitol Police. 

From their alternative reality the Schlaflys claim “abysmally low levels” of television ratings for the first hearing. Yet, over 20 million people viewed the first hearing, including 240,000 viewers of Fox Business.  That’s more than that night’s NBA Finals (11 million) and the NHL Finals (2.5 million) combined.  And that doesn’t count streaming media, C-Span and PBS.  Guess the Schlaflys can’t even get simple numbers right.

But that’s really the point of their column, isn’t it?  Not to get anything right.  Not to even mention any of the testimony by a phalanx of MAGA Republican Trump officials, advisers, lawyers and family members who all testified (belatedly) that Trump lost and knew he lost.  Then he lied about it, knowing he was lying.  And then, using the Big Lie, Trump bilked his followers out an enormous pile of dough aka The Big Ripoff.  

Did the Schlaflys contribute to Trump’s bogus election defense fund that put over $200 million in Trump’s pocket?  That scam, like why Steve Bannon was indicted for fraud, should land Trump and his cronies in jail or, at least, the Schlaflys’ D.C. Gulag.

The Schlaflys so venerate Donald Trump that they will write any distraction or fabrication in unholy fealty to their idol, regardless of whether it contains even a whisper of truth.  Conspiracies, cabals and unseen government agents lurk in their world of comic book plots featuring Trump as hero, with his elongated red tie flying in the wind like a draped crusader.

Since the Schlaflys have always wanted to be co-mini-Trumps in word and deed, I feel it is time to give them their due by borrowing comments made by Attorney General Barr about Donald Trump. The Schlaflys are “detached from reality” and their column was “bull---”.    

Robert Schwaninger lives in Alton and can be reached at rhschwaninger@gmail.com.